Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Zero Wing Review

INTRODUCTION
Okay this..game is just wow I mean wow it has the greatest/worst opening I have ever seen in my entire life for a game. This game suffers from horrible translation, the most famous of all is "All your base are belong to us". The introduction for this game is just so uniquely bad that it's just awesome I want you to search this opening up on You tube but I warn you what you will see is so awesome yet so bad that your head may explode.

STORY
Besides the bad opening the story seems pretty straight-forward, your team gets set up by some guy named "Cats" and you're heading out to take him down for great justice as the game puts it. Yeah the story is pretty bland and stupid that you just don't care about any of this and just want the game to start but you're hoping the game play isn't as bad as the opening, well.....

CONTROL
Before I talk about how the game actually plays I must first talk about the controls. The A and C buttons are used to fire your weapons, while the B button shoots some sort of tractor beam you can use to "grab" an enemy ship and launch it and others by pressing the B button again. Pressing Up and Down on the D-pad flies your ship up and down, respectively and pressing Left and Right does what you expect it to do.

GAME PLAY
This game is a side-scrolling space shooter so you expect some like life force or R-type but you don't get that not with this one, this game chooses not to be fun at all I mean whenever I play this I just can't seem to have fun, it feels so boring and slow while games like R-type are fun, exhilarating and challenging but this one is just so boring. Why can't I play Scott pilgrim instead of this?

DIFFICULTY
Okay this game's difficulty is terribly screwed up here's why: The normal setting is extremely easy, granted that there are a balanced number of enemies and the power-ups make the game much easier which is good but here's the thing, the easy setting has more enemies than the normal setting and the power-ups don't help much. Now tell me, are those differences fair? did they mix the difficulties up? do you care? anyway, not only is the game badly translated, boring and slow but it's also badly programmed I am seriously shocked at how much this game is screwed up...just wow I have never seen anything like this before but hey it's Japanese so it's okay right.

GRAPHICS
So, finally we get to something that isn't bad, the graphics are actually pretty good and the design of everything are good too from the ships, the explosions, the beams, the background and etc....okay the graphics while good are not great just slightly good, the explosions are so bland it's not even funny and everything is just so stock and stupid but hey at least it kind of looks good.

SOUND
While this game has okay graphics, the music is good and it actually fits in with all the action that's going on but the sound effects are just okay example: when your fire your weapon it goes: pew..pew..pew..pew, which isn't awesome and threatening I feel like a little kid with a fake gun. The explosions aren't much better either it's not loud and cool it's basically a "poof" type of sound....that's the only way I can describe it.

REPLAY VALUE
I'm not playing this game again, what are you smoking on?

FINAL VERDICT
This game is terribly flawed, I can't stressed that enough I'm not even talking about the bad opening because it's badly translated into English which doesn't count but the difficulty, sound, design and the fact that it bores me are just bad I mean terrible I'm sorry but this game gets the score it deserves: 3.5 out of 10.

Thank god that I don't have to play that game again, time for Scott pilgrim vs the world.

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